A Mystery for Myth Busters

This is definitely becoming a case for Myth Busters, as the chocolate theory has been debunked!

As much as I miss my daily dose of chocolate, this is rather disappointing news. In part because the kick in the pants to that theory came last night in the form of yet another stinking (and stinky) bloody diaper. Ugh!

Fortunately, the doctor didn't lose her cool and yank Quinn from her crib and toss her back into an incubator, suck the pleasures of a full belly with a garden hose down her throat, or call for a barrage of x-rays -- as we'd gone through before.

Considering this doctor and I don't approach the world with much similarity, it was such a relief that when the poo hit the propeller we were in full agreement.

Why this pattern keeps repeating whenever Quinn's daily intake tips the balance to be over 50 percent of Mama's Milk -- is utterly perplexing. How the refrigeration process of milk could make it so unpalatable is totally illogical, and if we go with the theory that she is lactose intolerant then how she can consume any without irritation is equally as peculiar.

As a consequence, for 24hrs Quinn was restricted to the digestive experience of a penguin for a while until her bowels settled down. Tonight she had a go at boob juice yet again, and with fingers crossed, we will hopefully see some healthier looking baby byproducts.

Now, no Myth Busters episode would be complete without some (near) explosions and gushing liquids. So to comply, my boobs volunteered for that part of this premie production.

(I know it seems like this is more of a boob than a baby blog, but when a part of your anatomy starts doing tricks that you were told it could do -- and then despite your disbelief it does -- it's phenomenal, and freaky all at once. And then, when those tricks backfire -- almost literally, you can't help but mention it.)

Essentially, I didn't completely drain my mammary ducts which caused a nasty condition a lot of Moms get called "mastitis." Medically this translates into: no fun at all!

It didn't start with hurting hooters, more like symptoms of the worst flu ever. And let me just say, if I had gotten the flu – or a cold, or even the hiccups – that kissy elderly couple from Park City would have had one mad Mama on their case!

Thankfully, unlike the flu a case of bursting boobs is not contagious and won’t keep me out of the NICU, nor even from feeding the little penguin now and then.

So, if anyone out there feels like taking on this mystery and coming up with a viable theory as to what is the deal with Quinn's bellicose belly, I will ensure that the University of Utah gives you a honorary doctorate, or at least a cool set of scrubs along with the petrified diaper to preserve as proof of a successful solution! Yum.

Your consolation prize awaits you. . .

Mama Murphy and the Persistent Penguin