Strollercoaster

Whatever endorphins I built up the other day were completely burned up yesterday afternoon.

Just as the nurse and I were excitedly preparing Madeline Quinn for her first bath ever, we discovered blood in her diaper. For those of you not medically inclined, read: not good.

Trying not to let the nurse's face send me into an orbit of panic, I waited until the room was flooded with medical staff to accept the reality that things might have taken a turn for the worse with our little girl.

They immediately started drawing blood, urine, and doing a physical assessment to try and understand what could cause the blood in her stool. She is one of the tougher patients for an IV, but they eventually got one started to deliver two different kinds of antibiotics in case it was what they feared -- necrotizing entercolitis, aka "nec." Essentially, this is yet another mysterious condition that occurs with premies that if not caught early enough causes the intestines to die, which can be fatal.

Starting yesterday afternoon, Quinn started to receive a barrage of x-rays every six hours. This wasn't so bad, at least from her perspective, compared to the garden-hose of a tube they left stuck down her throat to ensure that nothing remained or collected in her stomach. The poor kid was perpetually choking on that dumb tube, while whacking her IV around, and squirming to get out of reach as the nurses attached -- and then detached -- sticky leads for every kind of monitor to every (and I mean EVERY) part of her body.

Watching helplessly from the sidelines, the scariest moments were when she wasn't being feisty or annoyed, but was lethargic and out of sorts.... Since seeing that bloody diaper, the night passed by so slowly it felt as if my own life was hemorrhaging out with every passing moment of uncertainty.

As of this morning her diagnosis has changed. According to the top radiologist, her x-rays suggest that it is not nec, but either a virus or, slightly less likely, a reaction to the formula they use to fortify breastmilk. Originally, they said she would be on IV fluids and antibiotics for 7-14 days, and in order to give her intestines a rest they would withhold food for anywhere from 7-21 days. For a kid who is hungry half an hour before her next feeding (which is every three hours), I felt especially bad for what she was about to endure.

Fortunately, if her bloodwork and x-rays continue to lack strong indications for nec, they will discontinue the IV and let her go back on breastmilk (alone) tomorrow!

I'll keep up with the latest here on her blog... In the meantime, thank you for all your support and thoughts of health!

J & the kid